God Evolved From Chimpanzee Deity – The Onion

Just for fun on the Christian sabbath, here is a great article that describes God’s evolution. I love this bit:

According to experts, divine life began as a single-celled all-powerful organism roughly 3.6 billion years ago, eventually evolving into a multicelled, sponge-like deity that bobbed and floated across the chaos of the early universe. Kamen explained that over hundreds of millions of years, the godlike life form became more complex, with limbs that allowed for locomotion across the endless expanse of the heavens, and sophisticated photoreceptor cells capable of seeing all things.

It’s true that we do owe a lot to sponges.

3 thoughts on “God Evolved From Chimpanzee Deity – The Onion

  1. What! I thought the chimpanzee and god evolved from a common
    ancestor?

    • lol. you do realize that by saying.. “divine life began as a single-celled all-powerful organism roughly 3.6 billion years ago, eventually evolving into a multicelled, sponge-like deity that bobbed and floated across the chaos of the early universe.” that you still dont have a cause of the “single celled organism” …. you have an effect without a cause – or in other words, a SCIENTIFIC IMPOSSIBILITY.

      Thanks for coming out.

  2. This is a quote from the onion. It is a satire. There is no need to criticize the science in an article when the whole purpose of the article is to be funny. Religious evangelism is perfectly acceptable, but you may want to check sources before railing against something that is not meant to be taken seriously.

    “Thanks for coming out”

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