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rebekah
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Posts by rebekah
Growing up godless
Feb 10th
Next week I’ve been invited by the Unitarian Fellowship of Regina to give a talk on secular parenting. Here’s the little blurb I wrote for it:
Growing up godless: Strategies for the 21st century secular family
A 2008 survey found that 1 in 4 Canadians don’t believe in God. Another study found that religion could potentially go ‘extinct’ in Canada. With faith becoming less of an influencing factor in our society, what does it mean to raise children without the anchoring of religious tenets? My talk will discuss strategies for secular families facing life situations where traditionally religion has influenced a family’s decision-making and comfort in challenging times. I’ll also talk about the role religion can play in a nonreligious household.
I’m finishing my plans for the talk over this weekend, and I thought I’d ask you all for some input. What sorts of topics should I touch on in my 20 minutes? First I think I need define what I mean by ‘secular’ parenting, and then maybe I’ll talk a few minutes about some of the bigger issues families have to deal with (interactions with religious extended family, holidays, death, etc). I’m also hoping to open the floor to discussion, in case there’s anyone there who disagrees with some of what I’m saying.
I think I also would like to pass on some ideas for the Regina group on different activities they can host for secular families, looking back to events like Darwin Day, summer camping trips, and other topical celebrations our secular parenting group has done over the years.
Secular parenting groups are still hard to find here in Canada — here’s hoping that more groups will pop up as resources for freethinking families.
Darwin Day 2012
Feb 1st
It’s the most wonderful time of the year — Darwin Day (February 12th), and a time for us all to celebrate SCIENCE!
Here’s a list of events going on around the country (feel free to add some that I’ve missed in the comments):
Friday, February 10th
- in Ottawa: Evolution and Diversity: A Darwin Day Celebration With Little Ray’s Reptile Zoo, 7:30pm at the Dovercourt Recreation Center
Saturday, February 11th
- in Vancouver: Darwin Day Weekend Skeptics in the Pub, 7pm at the Railway Club (sponsored by the Vancouver Skeptics)
Sunday, February 12th
- in Kelowna, Darwin Day 2012, featuring Darwin Day talks by Dr Jessica Theodor and Dr James Hull. Dr Theodor’s talk is: “Almost Like a Whale – Darwin and the Origin of Whales” and Dr Hull’s talk is: “Darwin, Nature and God” — 1pm, UBCO Science 337 (sponsored by CFI Okanagan and UBCO Freethoughts)
- in Saskatoon, 2012 Darwin Day Celebration!, featuring two presentations followed by discussions. Speakers this year are from the U of S Biology department: Prof. José Andrés and Prof. Dick Neal. Birthday cake and coffee will be available. (sponsored by CFI Saskatoon, Saskatoon Skeptics, and the University of Saskatchewan Freethought Alliance)
Wednesday, February 15th
- in Lethbridge, Darwin Day Movie Night, with film showing of “Charles Darwin and the Tree of Life” by David Attenborough and “The Genius of Charles Darwin” by Richard Dawkins, 6:45pm in Galileo’s Lounge, University of Lethbridge.
Keep an eye on the Darwin Day Events page for any additional events in your area. And hey, why not send that special person in your life a Darwin Day e-card? (sure beats a silly valentine)
re·ject
Jan 25th
As it’s Oscar season, I’m busy catching all the nominees for the best picture — which means I caught the critically acclaimed ‘We Need to Talk About Kevin‘ (which I was sure was going to be nominated in some way, but wasn’t .. and that’s a subject for another post).
Anyway, I enjoyed the film so much that I started to read the 2003 novel it was based on, of the same name by the author Lionel Shriver. As I read, there was a quote that caught my eye and caused me to pause — it’s a quote spoken by the mother/protagonist of the novel, reflecting back on her flaws as a parent. One shortcoming she muses about is the lack of a religious environment she exposed her son, Kevin, to:
Both of us were lapsed, so it made sense to raise our kids as neither Armenian Orthodox or Presbyterian. Although I’m reluctant to inveigh that youth today need to crack the Old Testament, it sobers me that, thanks to us, Kevin may have never seen the inside of a church.
The fact that you and I were brought up with something to walk away from may have advantaged us, for we knew what lay behind us, and what we were not.
So I wonder if Kevin, too, would have been better off had we spewed a lot of incense-waving hooey that he could have coughed back in our faces — those extravagant fancies about virgin births and commandments on mountaintops that really stick in a kid’s throat. [my emphasis]
As soon as I read this passage, I had to stop — if only because it resonated a little too much. Is my little girl — being raised in a happily godless home — at a disadvantage?
More >
Atheist cinema, part 1: for apostates
Jan 9th
I’m hoping to have a regular series of posts of film recommendations for atheists and nonbelievers. Feel free to give some suggestions in the comments!
A couple weeks ago Café Apostate took our usual monthly meeting to the movies, and we watched the film Higher Ground. Here’s the trailer.
I had been really looking forward to the film, especially after reading the book it was based on, This Dark World by Carolyn S. Briggs. I’m always on the hunt for apostate stories, and I wasn’t disappointed in this one. Granted, not everyone could relate to the main character’s story, but so much of her experience rang true for me, a fellow defector from evangelicalism.
What I liked most about the film is how it showed the intense internal struggle that can take place for some people when it comes to rejecting faith. It’s not as if someone wakes up one day and just drops everything he or she has believed. It’s often a long walk away — and some of the walk is in dark places.
For me, it wasn’t an easy decision to drop my belief, and there were times when I wished — even pleaded to god — that he would magically appear, so I could have that certainty of faith again. But, that didn’t happen. And once you turn a certain corner away from belief, there’s no turning back.
Which leads me to my second film choice for apostates: The Truman Show.
The Truman Show is the story of a man who has lived his life in a false reality. Everything in his life is staged for the reality-TV show, from mundane traffic he encounters on the street to the intimate relationships in his life. One day he starts to see the cracks in the facade of his life, and he’s faced with a choice: does he keep pursuing knowledge about the unknown, even if it could jeopardize the safe and happy life he’s always known?
By the end of the film, everyone is rooting for Truman to make the choice that is best for him.
If there’s a metaphor for apostates, I think The Truman Show is it. Doubt is an inevitable part of faith, and there comes a point in a believer’s life when you’re at a crossroads: keep believing or dare to challenge?
That’s it for this month’s atheist cinema! Pop some popcorn and enjoy!
Three jeers for Christian charity!
Dec 8th
In response to the American Atheists “What myths do you see?” billboards, the Catholic League just launched a new holiday campaign of their own — Adopt an Atheist:
Today we are launching our “Adopt An Atheist” campaign, the predicate of which is, “We want atheists to realize that there may be Christians in their community, even if those Christians don’t even know they are Christian.”
Here’s what our campaign entails. We are asking everyone to contact the American Atheist affiliate in his area [click here], letting them know of your interest in “adopting” one of them. All it takes is an e-mail. Let them know of your sincere interest in working with them to uncover their inner self. They may be resistant at first, but eventually they may come to understand that they were Christian all along.
If we hurry, these closeted Christians can celebrate Christmas like the rest of us. As an added bonus, they will no longer be looked upon as people who “believe in nothing, stand for nothing and are good for nothing.”
Where to begin? JT does a good job untangling most of the dreck above, but the last lines of the campaign’s page are what get to me the most.
First of all, “closeted Christians?” Um, no. I’m not sure how much clearer I can be when it comes to Christianity — I didn’t “lose” my faith, I rejected it. Plus I resent the implication in those last lines that as a non-believer, I’m somehow not able to celebrate Christmas like “the rest of us”.
But the most revealing part of the campaign is the last few words of the release — atheists are people who “believe in nothing, stand for nothing and are good for nothing.” Wow.
I suppose I should expect no less from the likes of Bill Donohue, the same man who said that atheists should apologize for the “anti-religious” impulse that motivated Stalin, Mao and Hitler’s actions.
That said, if there’s a multimillionaire Christian out there who’s willing to take me on as his or her pet project, do feel free to contact me. Fair warning: I’ve been told I’m a bit of a problem child.
‘Tis the Season
Nov 23rd
This holiday season, give the Salvation Army kettles a pass and give to a secular charity instead! Here are some ideas to get you started:
- A huge list of atheist, non-theistic, freethinking and secular charities by ThinkAtheist.com
- Give a microloan to someone in a developing country by joining Kiva.org’s lending team of Atheists, Agnostics, Skeptics, Freethinkers, Secular Humanists and the Non-Religious (the #1 lending team on the site!)
- Give to Médecins Sans Frontières, Oxfam, or the Red Cross
- Donate blood
Or, better yet, make a difference in your local community! Donate time, money, or items to a crisis nursery, food bank, or another organization that makes a difference in your own backyard. Donate2Charities.ca is a good place to start searching, if you need inspiration.
Atheist/freethinker groups, why not organize an event? For example, CFI Okanagan is organizing a coat drive for early December — this is an activity that many Canadian communities can easily organize.
Whether you celebrate Krismas, Festivus, Solstice, HumanLight, or nothing at all, let’s get giving.
In the comments, feel free to add your own suggestions of places to donate our time and efforts to this holiday season!
Secular family resources
Nov 2nd
One of the bigger shortcomings in the Canadian atheist community (in my humble opinion, of course) is the lack of resources/groups for secular families. As far as I know, there’s only one secular parenting group in Canada (though I would LOVE to be corrected in the comments!). That said, I realize that the secular parenting movement is still fairly new, so I’m hoping in the next few years we can build some momentum and get some more groups going up here in the Great White North.
Until that time, here are some great resources I’ve been coming across over the last few weeks that I’d thought I’d share:
- SocraticMama: a new website/community started by Anne Crumpacker, the mom of 9-year-old Mason (who infamously asked Christopher Hitchens “What should I read?” last month at the Texas Freethought Convention). The SocraticMama site is meant to be a “a place where ideas are judged on merit alone, where questions are explored, and where adults and kids can come together to puzzle about life’s wonders.” It’s still new, so go check it out!
- Speaking of Mason, here’s an inspiring interview with her in this past Sunday’s Dallas Morning News. My favorite bit:
Why did you decide it was important to ask a question of Hitchens? Because I had just found out that he was dying, and he’s a brilliant man. And I felt that his knowledge of the world shouldn’t be wasted, and that someone should continue what he started.
Where will he go when he dies?
Nowhere.
Did he answer you the way you expected to be answered?
Yes. He was very honest to me and very, very nice. I think all adults should be honest to kids with their answers and take them seriously. They’re living people, too. I especially hate when adults dumb it down for me.
- Like Mason, I’m also always on the hunt for good books to add to my secular parenting shelf. Recently I’ve come across some good resources that will help me add more book titles to my wish list. Check out Children’s Books for Secular and Progressive Families: Part One (more parts to come this week!) and the two episodes of Atheist Talk on Children’s books on science and Children’s books on religion.
- Another site to check out for musings on secular parenting is the Parents Beyond Belief blog. This is a resource for secular parenting groups and religion-free parenting approaches — the blog features posts by a variety of contributors, with topics ranging from the perils of secular homeschooling to Camp Quest experiences to reflections on teaching your child critical thinking skills. [disclosure: I help edit the blog -- so if there are any Canadian secular parents who would like to contribute, contact me!]
- Here’s another good blog on secular parenting: Relax, It’s Just God by Wendy Thomas Russell. I really like her writing style, and it’s a place where “you’ll find suggestions and encouragement for modern, secular
parents ready to talk to their kids about God.” Check it out.
- Finally, there’s a newly-formed Facebook group that’s targeted to secular mamas: Mothers Beyond Belief. It’s only been around for about 5 days, in in that time, we’ve gotten over 500 members! It’s a private group, meant to be a resource/support for secular moms. I help to admin the group, and I can attest to it being a great group of women to interact with!
So, there you have it. If you have any resources/links you’d like to share, feel free to pass ‘em along.
Help for the disadvantaged middle-class white man
Oct 23rd
In the past I’ve had my share of run-ins with Men’s Rights Advocates, so when I saw this article in The Star, my interests were piqued: Men are the new underclass. The article features a picture and quotes from the former Executive Director of CFI Canada, Justin Trottier.
A few telling snips from the article:
Proposition: In the shifting modern narrative of gender politics, men are the new women.
The once fortified white male empire, bowed and beaten by generations of women scorned by its bloated superciliousness, has born sons they barely recognize.
We, the offspring of assured, confident, self-realized men, are emerging as a new underclass.
and better yet:
We are the emasculated deer in the social headlights of the oncoming female 18-wheeler entirely uncertain which way to move and doubtful it makes a difference anyway.
Socialized differently than any other generation of men before us, too many of us are self-doubting, fuzzy around the edges and resigned to it all.
We’ve gone from bulls in china shops to tentative kittens at the bathtub’s edge.
I’m having a hard time figuring out if this article is for real, or if it’s just a really good Poe. I’m doubtful that it’s legit, since much of the article is filled with hilariously pathetic examples.
It could be my inner feminist, but I find my hackles are raised when I come across many examples of Men’s Rights Advocacy. I’m all for equality, don’t get me wrong, but I think that women still have a much steeper cliff to scale when it comes to being treated equally, both in the workplace and domestically.
Not only that, but when I think about the plight of women worldwide, I’m even less impressed with the Men’s Rights movement. And no, I’m not a man-hater.
Regardless, I think I just found the topic for our next Reasonable Women meeting. What are your thoughts on the Men’s Right’s Movement? Persuade me that I’m wrong in being uncomfortable about it, or give me more reasons to be uneasy about it.
“But you don’t have to take MY word for it!”
Oct 13th
[hopefully someone out there will get my Reading Rainbow reference]
Last weekend was the Texas Freethought Convention, and I was able to vicariously enjoy parts of the gathering thanks to social media. An article of interest popped up that described Christopher Hitchen’s appearance at the convention.
It’s his first public appearance in months, and while he still possesses his fiery message, his body is definitely feeling the effects of his disease. Maybe it’s because I know he’s nearing the end of his life, but lately I’ve been finding most of what he says/writes lately to be especially compelling (and I wasn’t always a Hitch fan).
What caught my attention most about this piece describing his TX appearance was the end of the article that describes an interaction he had with an 8 year old little girl during the Q&A following his talk. The little girl’s name is Mason, and she asked Hitch a simple question: “What books should I read?” [a more detailed account of the story can be found over on Jerry Coyne's blog]
The article said that Hitch spent 15 minutes after his talk, sitting down with Mason and her mama to help compose a reading list. As a mama of my own precocious 4 and a half year old, I got such a kick out of reading about this interaction. I loved reading about not only Hitch dedicating time for a young fan, but I also enjoyed the little girl’s tenacity to walk up and ask such a great question! Here’s the list Hitchens gave Mason (taken from this article):
Dawkins’ Magic of Reality, Greek and Roman myths, particularly those compiled by Robert Graves, anything satirical by Shakespeare, Geoffrey Chaucer, Ayaan Hirsi Ali (author of Infidel and Nomad: From Islam to America: A Personal Journey Through the Clash of Civilizations), PG Wodehouse (“for fun”), David Hume, and Charles Dickens’ A Tale of Two Cities.
What books would you recommend, should a brave little girl ask you this question one day?
Happy Blasphemy Rights Day!
Sep 30th
What heretical ways will you celebrate?
In 2009, the Center for Inquiry started the Blasphemy Day event (didn’t our own Katie Kish help start it?) to commemorate the anniversary of the publishing of the Jyllands-Posten Muhammad cartoons. We all remember how well those cartoons went over, don’t we?
No idea or ideology should be above critique. CFI clarifies its purpose behind such a day, and states that:
The day was created as a reaction against those who would seek to take away the right to satirize and criticize a particular set of beliefs given a privileged status over other beliefs. Criticism and dissent towards opposing views is the only way in which any nation with any modicum of freedom can exist.
I’m not sure if there are any official festivities going on in Canada today, but if you’re like me, every day is a great opportunity for a little blasphemy. After all, blasphemy is a victimless crime.
In 2009 the Saskatoon Freethinkers held a Blasphemy Day event, where we held debaptisms and offered people the chance to deny the Holy Spirit. Here’s my YouTube heretical debut, and you can check out several others’ denials and debaptisms here on the YouTube channel.
Happy heresy, everyone!
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